Rain.

The pitter-patter of rain on my windows calms me. It distracts me from the inevitable silence, and yet, doesn't tear my attention away from any deep thoughts I'm having. Cold nights, warm blankets; I find myself seeking comfort in hugging inanimate objects, either pretending that they are something or someone else, or that they something or someone I have yet to meet or experience. It's a pleasing thought; to feel as if I'm not so alone. The constancy of rain is great.

Though I still wish I were more capable. It's not too late for that.. but do I really want to trust more in people? What will I have to gain? Unshed tears? What purpose is there in trusting people again? All I've gotten is a mouthful of "fuck off"s or "go away"s; of course, they were much more politely stated, but the same general idea is there.

Meh. I don't know. I just want to trust people and not feel quite so insecure about myself. Maybe I'm only living for my own selfish needs after all. But hey, I do things for others; not for my sake, but for their's.