fuck writing.

I'm just another amateur writer who fails at his attempts to weave together a coherent story or clever poem or an amusing article. A pseudo-intellectual who nitpicks on semantics, pedantic in nature in order to sound intelligent. It's child's play; ephemeral words, flowing from the mind and out of sight, haunting dreams of achievement and esteem, pilfering motivation away. Vitriolic words hurriedly scratched onto a paper in crimson ink stay etched in the soul forever.

I will never write again. Writing is not an option for me, according to The Gamut.

ninja is one of the awesomest games ever. enough said.

awkward positions and a test of reflexes.. hehe.

oh, I got a digital piano yesterday. someone's not too happy about that. but it makes me realize how much I suck at playing..

I wonder if I'll ever be competent at piano. it would be pathetic of me to drop $700 on such a thing, only to fail miserably at it. playing for countless hours a day, I really wonder what good this does me.

I must practice.. not just to be good, but to fully be able to enjoy playing.

*rolls on floor laughing*

I can't believe I did that.

This is fucking hilarious. LOL

expectations not met;
a duty,
left unfulfilled by someone inept.

the signs were clear,
symptoms obvious;
unfortunately, to you I am not dear.

the effort and determination required
to rid myself of this personal demon;
no more, I desired.

granting forgiveness
for such a minuscule mistake;
it seems impossible,
even for my own sake.

anger and frustration
coursed through my veins.
seeing you walk away
with full knowledge of the situation,
served to ruin my day.

pleas for help went unnoticed;
missed calls on the phone
remained unanswered.

--

I give up. If you're going to continue ignoring me in this fashion when I do not appear at my best, then fine. So be it.

I fucking hate being left alone. Perhaps you'll realize the implications of your actions, but by then, it'll be too late.

Sayonara, my tomodachi.

uhm.. holy shit.

amidst all this crap, I've finally had a good day.

it's hard to vocalize or process it into coherent words.. things feel pleasant now. it was fun. that's all I can really say about it.

thank you to a few good people who made my day great. the pilot of the astrovan contributed the most (what was "hey can I get a ride to the bus stop" turned into "hey let's go eat In-N-Out!"). it was really fun.. haha, now I have more inside jokes to do with Still Alive.