earthly desires.

I long for a person that I love (not like or lust for). Someone to be my personal teddy bear. I wonder why it's so hard to ask people for a hug sometimes.

--

I desire money. I'm greedy -- everything I'm doing is either in the pursuit of money, or in the pursuit of fulfilling my greedy desires.

A part of me likes showing off this new toy. This electric cello. It brings me happiness; I can practice late into the night now (I just finished practicing; altogether, I've played perhaps six or seven hours today). It's a new thing to say; "Hey, guess what? I have an electric cello! ^_^". Something really eventful.

But a part of me sees it as something negative.. Namely, this aspect of myself that continually says, "Hey guess what, I got an electric cello!" in most conversations. I guess I feel like a show off? Or like I'm gloating about obtaining my newest possession.

Don't get me wrong. I really do love it. Really.. It sounds amazing. I haven't touched my acoustic cello ever since getting it. But now that I have it, there's so many more things that I want to go with it. An amp, effect pedals, EQ things, pre-amps.. There's so much in the world of electronic instruments that are nice, but not quite a necessity.

For at least a year or two, I have been saving up money for this purchase. From $0 to $750 in two years. It has been, without a doubt, one of the best decisions in my life; I really love this instrument. It sounds... glorious, for lack of a better way to say it. It has lived up to my expectations, and so much more; I love what it has enabled me to do.

I can now share my music, how I truly sound, with my friends.

I hope I don't come off as pompous and "yes I'm all that", but I like chatting with people on AIM and playing music for them in voice chats. It's really fun.. And it makes me feel better about myself. I don't know about those that haven't heard it already, but the general consensus amongst those who have is that it's pretty damn pro.

All I need is a personal teddy bear to hug and cuddle, and I'll be satisfied. Hopefully?

People to note that have made this week awesome:

-Philip (for having cool hair and letting me hang out with him on Friday)

-Taemin (for being t3h k00l k1d)

-Julie (for talking to me late into the night and linking me to websites to play awesome sauce music from)

-Aaron (for texting me and making my day better with a spontaneous conversation)

-Lauren (for driving me home when it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit)

-Claire (for singing Hellogoodbye songs with me in English)