Lost.

I blankly stared at my surroundings. At a certain person. At all the beautiful people on the USC campus. At the squirrel as it dashed up a tree.

I'm so lost. I don't know what to do or think anymore. Every glimmer of hope that I hold onto gets torn into shreds.

I would hope that I don't find myself lost in a void anytime soon. A shame it would be to lose my life this early, but my insane expectations of others coupled with my own lack of self-esteem create an environment where impossibilities like death become feasible.

I wish something would deliver sweet justice to me already. A car accident, poisoned food, destructive drugs.. Something. Anything. I just don't want to be consumed by my own irrational fears.