Goodbye, guys...
This may be the last time I say that.
Reasons are withheld. Time will reveal an answer.
I'll leave without a trace. No one will notice. And no one will care, either.
I will end it all.
Goodbye.
About Me
- xephyre
- "and there's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake." ~Still Alive
what ya mean!
ReplyDeletewe're supposed to drink at 21!
where the hell ya gonna go?
you promised.
dont go yet.
ReplyDeleteone day youll find
that all the hardships youve been through will vanish
and everything will be worth it.
dont you want to experience that great feeling?
That "great feeling" has never existed, either in my past or my future. I am foolish for simply believing that it existed for me in the first place.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to drink alone, Christine.
Alex.. you may not believe me when I say this, but if you think that your presence doesn't matter, I'm telling you now that you are completely, completely mistaken. Allow me to stress that. Just completely wrong.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say that I know you very well. I've only talked to you a few times since I've been at this school. However, you have no idea what those instances meant to me.. your random acts of kindness and when you stayed around afterschool and talked to me. Every little thing made the day.. less lonely. You ARE one of those people that I look forward to talking to. Notice it or not, you do matter. You do make a difference. I see you as a friend.. someone who cares about other people more than he cares for himself. Do you have any idea how empty the world would be without people like that? Empty, empty, empty.
If you're thinking now: I'm only one person, what difference does it make? It does. Think of it this way.. everyone knows at least one individual who is so much a part of himself that losing that one person.. would tear some part of him away. You may not realize it, but you're one person.. who's a part of something, someone, that is essentially incomplete without you. Maybe, you don't know who or what it is now. But please, keep at it no matter how much you feel like giving up. We are always tempted to let go because we can't see the end result that we want so badly. We're so inclined because we get our hopes up, then give in when we find them deceived. We don't believe in happiness.. because we don't know what happiness is.
In order to embrace happiness, we must KNOW what happiness is. Happiness, joy must be defined by every individual for himself.. If he does not know what happiness is, how can he recognize it? Mostly, I believe that we cannot see it, we cannot feel it because we've unintentionally shielded ourselves from it.
You may not be happy now, but there is a time. There is a time to be joyful, there is a time for sorrow. For, if one does not know sorrow, how can he rejoice in the joy of the morning? I believe that, if you trust, have faith in Him, you shall realize that YOUR time is coming.. time for happiness and joy. It may not be today, tomorrow, in a week, in a month, but you must seek joy in living for that promise. Life is not to be a constant burden to suffer under. Life is to be lived. Yet, one cannot live until he accepts that there is a purpose and not until he invests some of his confidence in that purpose, though he may not know what it is.
To find happiness.. there is no easy way. Sometimes, it may be that happiness seems to evade us. Yet, I believe that that only makes us stronger people if we allow it to, and likewise, weaker if we allow it to. The man who knows sorrow to the deepest of depths.. will most cherish happy times and happy moments. Will recognize happiness in the most simple of things that everyone else overlooks.
So, I cannot possibly understand what you are going through right now. But please, do not run away from your problems. Do not run away from the people who care about you. You are a part of some grand plan that you do not understand, that nobody may even understand. From where you stand, nothing may make sense. But what you are seeing is not the complete picture. It is merely a piece of it. A single stroke in a mural, a single word in a composition. It is impossible to understand the meaning of it all just by examining that one element. You have not seen the mural, you have not read the composition in whole. Then, what can a single stroke or a single word say about the entirety of it?
Now, regardless of what is troubling you Alex, please know that you are not alone. Even when your world seems so empty, you are not alone. You have friends that care about you. And if you don't believe that, you certainly mean something to me. If you have words that you need to say, I will listen. Be they sorrowful or of any nature, I will listen.
There is reason as to why more than one person lives on this earth. Your burdens are not meant to be carried alone. If you will trust us with the burdens that you bear, I am and we all are here to stand by you.
Truly, Alex, you mean so much more than you could ever fathom, could ever imagine, could ever convince yourself. Every word that I say, I mean it. So please take every word as truth, from an anonymous friend who cares much about you.
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ReplyDeleteYou told me this once, and I will repeat your own words to you: how do you think everybody who cares about you would feel if they were told Alex was gone?
ReplyDeleteAlex, I know we don't hang out that much, but you MATTER.
I'M SO GLAD I SAW YOU TODAY!
ReplyDeleteDUUDE.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FREAKIN WORRIED I WAS!
on thursday during zero period before you left for san diego, i saw you.
i wanted to tell you to play well and come back.
but for some reason i couldn't say it.
when i saw you walking away, i wanted to scream it but again, i couldn't say it.
DON'T ASK ME WHY. I DON'T KNOW. AND I FREAKIN REGRET IT. SO FREAKIN REGRET IT.
then you were absent on monday.
YOU JERK! don't scare people like that!!!!!
when i saw you today i was so relieved. so relieved. but you didn't say hi like you usually do. i should have said hi first. I FREAKIN REGRET THAT TOO.
i'm sorry alex. sorry.
please don't think no one noticed.
i'm sorry.