implosion.

I want to cry, but I already did in English on Friday. I don't even know why it happened then.

Despite what you say, I'm not going to simply "get better". I can't deal with this on my own.

I know you'll disagree with me, and you'll think that I'm capable of pulling myself out of this.. but no. I know I'm not capable.

I'm trying, but it's not enough. I need a boost. I need your help..

Why did I keep telling you that I've given up? Because I wanted you to help me out..

Maybe it's not a necessity, but I just want some support from you. Perhaps a hug at the end of the day.. Or even just talking to me. Or a high-five. Or a few signs that we'll be friends again. Or that you care.

I'm very close to the edge. You saw me at it. And what did you do? You hit me to chastise me for something stupid I'd done.

I hate being miserable, but I hate it when you ignore me even more. It spawns jealousy and hatred in my heart. It makes me want to give up.

I wonder what happened to the friend that I had.. Then I remember that I ultimately caused our friendship to disintegrate. So it's my fault.

Everything is my fault..