kill me now.
lives are ephemeral; mine is no different. and quite frankly, many others would prefer for mine to disappear, to stop ruining lives.
embrace the pain.
naught but pain exists; a testament to the cruelty of mankind. whether it be self-induced or the result of society's harsh treatment of others, is inconsequential.
anger in sorrow.
frustration enraptures the soul, physical manifestations of it threaten to take control. however, cold anger receives no sympathy from others.
fragility of friendship.
eviscerated by actions so easily, destruction impossible to avoid.
ailment of the mind.
seized by a tyrant of emotions, incapable of individual, intellectual thought. psychosis and confusion merge into depression.
deception and false pretenses.
deceived by many, unaware of the trickery. epiphanies made, truths realized; a recapitulation of human nature.
in the heart of the problem lies a tangled web, full of squirming victims that refuse to comply. protected by a chassis created of legal means, impervious to everything except a breach of contract.
however, I have already breached this contract. on multiple occasions.
tonight, it happened countless times. I could not bring down their day, nor could I afford to force them to expend any more of their energy.
in a flurry of events, my being has been rendered incapable.
locked and loaded. ready to kill. no one left to stop me.
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You know what.
ReplyDeleteDon't die.
Life isn't always like this. Life can be a beautiful or an ugly thing, depending on the perspective. A wise woman (Ana) told me this.
Life won't always be like this. It's a phase, it's a rut. It's the dark valley before the mountain.
You're not a burden at all. We love you. Love isn't a burden.
I don't believe that anyone in our friend circle has the guts to kill themselves, especially you, so you might as well not waste however much you spent on that piano you said you'd gotten and play it. See you Monday.
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