actually..

I think I do have a chance. if they don't mind me calling every few days. I can live with just talking. that's enough to keep me happy.

--

people say our school submits us to an incredibly demanding curriculum, but I don't think so. perhaps it's my lax view on grades (i.e. "C in euro? meh, oh well. B+ in English? oh well. B+ in Alg II/Trig? sucks for me."), but I feel that some people are placing a disturbing amount of significance on a letter on our transcripts that will only slightly impact our future.

perhaps it's because I've given up on trying, but I'm flying by with nearly a 4.0.

I don't know if it's actual intelligence that's getting me by right now, or if it's dumb luck. most people would kill to be in my position right now; to have "such good grades" and "be so smart" or "be good at music" without ever trying. it's not as if this doesn't come without its costs, though. my level as a musician has only been achieved through hours and hours of dedication by the means of practice. not to mention, if I AM smart, well, personally, that's just asking for more trouble. I don't know how my mind compares to a normal person's, but I seem to be afflicted with more problems than the average human being. most being mental.

college seems so far away, but it's speeding towards us, faster than we think.. where are we going? what do we want to do? and where will we end up, seven years from now, when we graduate college and leave behind the academic world? what kind of careers will we have? which friends will be the ones to stay with us during this lifelong journey?

time is the only answer to all of these questions. and it's unstoppable.