I think the best plan of action right now is to start steeling myself for the inevitable.

the other party suggested it.

and hey, with six months of preparation, maybe it won't be as much of a failure as all the other attempts. in any case, it'll be a one-shot thing. either I'm ready by then.. or I'm not. if I am, well, things should progress smoothly, and life will go on. if I'm not, which is most likely going to happen, I'm going to be a nervous wreck for a while. and I'll most likely do a lot of stupid things.

wish me luck. I guess we'll see if I'm 'still alive' seven months from now. (yay Portal.)